Something to consider when planning your wedding...should you encourage guests to put away their mobile phones during your ceremony?
The reason I say "encourage" rather than "insist" is simple. Let's face it...if you ask guests to put their phones away and Aunt Margaret whips out her phone and snaps a pic of your epic first kiss as a married couple, what are you going to do about it? What CAN you do about it? It's not like you're going to have her escorted off the premises or refuse to send her a thank you card for the amazing 500-count Egyptian cotton sheet set she bought you as a wedding gift, right? In all seriousness, however, the decision whether or not to allow phones should not be made lightly. And here's a disclaimer - if you're already married (HA!) to the idea of allowing or not allowing phones during your ceremony, then the following read is not for you...unless, that is, you're trying to convince your partner to see things your way. Welcome to marriage. Let's examine possible pros and cons:
PROS
Not everyone accepts a wedding invitation. Some people take photos so they can share the event with people who could make it to the wedding. Allowing people to take photos with their phones means that people who couldn't make it may get a chance to enjoy your day without being physically present.
Everyone has a different creative vision. People taking photos snap pictures taken from their point of view. Sometimes it's fun just to see what they come up with!
Even with two photographers, not every single moment can be captured. We can only be in two places at any given time. Your guests can record images that we might miss, or even the same images from different angles.
People with phones can take selfies! Your guests and family do not have to deal with the frustration of tracking down a photographer and asking, “would you please take our photo?” Lots of people spend some good money on dresses, outfits, hair and makeup to attend a wedding and want to record the moment. I realize these sorts of photos don't usually occur during a ceremony, but I have photographed weddings where all phones were highly discouraged.
People are just plain addicted. Keeping their addiction fed keeps them complacent, happy…and CALM. Never underestimate CALM guests at a wedding.
People are probably going to bring their phones anyway, even if you discourage them. The reality is, people want to be connected to family and friends, some of which may not be attending. These guests will be more comfortable if they are able to check in with their people when needed. Comfortable guests = HAPPY DAY. Seriously.
Weddings are a great place to meet new people or get to know people better – people use their phones for more than just taking pictures, often storing numbers of people they want to connect with, or looking them up on social media. To think, your wedding day could be the jumpstart of a lifetime of bliss for a non-suspecting couple. Who would have guessed?!
From a photographer’s standpoint – we love getting our picture taken while working – it’s great exposure (haha, get it?) =0)
Cons
People are distracted. They are not paying attention because their focus is on their phone. When you spend that much money and time on a wedding and on YOU, of course you want people to be paying attention and appreciating your hard work and attention to detail. There’s just something strikingly peaceful and intimate about a ceremony where everyone is involved without distraction and the only people taking photos are the paid professionals.
Sorry, there's just not a nice way to say this...people taking pictures with phones often get in the way of the photographer. We are paid to do a terrific job recording your best moments and preserving your memories. While we appreciate avid photographers, sometimes people with phones crowd into the best locations, which we need access to. We are trying to step lightly around everyone during the ceremony and not block anyone’s view for an extended period of time…some people do not exude the same courtesy. Especially in smaller venues. This doesn't just apply to people with phones, either. I photographed a wedding where the uncle of the bride was a semi-professional photographer. He brought a DSLR camera and proceeded to stand beside me during the bridal party and family portraits and start directing people how to pose and where to look. As a result, in half of my photos, the bride and groom were looking at HIM and not ME.
A lot of flashes can be distracting. If it’s a cloudy day and people are using their phone flashes to capture clear images, the resulting flash parade can resemble a swarm of paparazzi, instead of an intimate, beautiful celebration of love. You want to be focusing on your dearly beloved and your vows, not the sound and sight of camera phones flashing and snapping pictures.
Fewer crappy photos will flood social media. While camera phones have come a long way and Pinterest and Instagram has led many to believe they are naturally talented shutterbugs, leaving the photos to paid professional photographers ensures only the best photos will go public. There won’t be dozens or (GASP!) hundreds of pics floating around out there of you with your mouth hanging open or your eyes half-closed or your partner adjusting his fly.
There is nothing worse than a couple exchanging lifelong vows and someone’s phone ringing because its obnoxious owner forgot to put it on silent/vibrate before the ceremony. It ruins the moment and you can never get that moment back. It then becomes a moment remembered for the obnoxious guest and not the couple. Trust me, I've seen it happen, and it's a tragedy. In fact, it's the only thing I remember about that particularly wedding.
It's totally up to you whether you decide to encourage or discourage phones during your ceremony. It's my opinion that with smaller venues where the ceremony site allows fewer guests, it is best to either ban phones and cameras altogether, or instruct your guests to be aware of their surroundings and to defer to the photographer(s). I have seen beautifully crafted signs used at ceremonies to spread the word. Pinterest is a great resource for ideas! You could include a blurb in your wedding invitations. You could add a eye-catching line (think large, comedic, and/or rhyming) to your programs, which are usually strategically placed at the front of your venue and are picked up by guests upon their arrival. You could ask your coordinator to make an announcement before the ceremony (although late arrivals may miss the announcement). Either way you go, it needs to be your decision, and you shouldn't feel guilty whatever you decide. It's your day - you do YOU, Boo-Boo.