To-date, I've probably photographed roughly two dozen weddings. Right now I'm in between wedding seasons--I call it the off-season--and I've been thinking back over the truly memorable ones that I loved. I realized today that they all had one thing in common...they had a COORDINATOR. Yep, a coordinator. Kind of a scary word, right? Sounds pretty full of itself when you say it out loud. Well, a wedding has the potential to be kind of a mess without one. Trust me. I've witnessed the mess. Been smack-dab in the middle of said mess. In fact, with all the weddings I've been involved in, I cannot understand why a bride wouldn't insist on having a coordinator. I've tried to think of some common reasons why. I came up with three. I also offer some arguments to support why, for the love of all things matrimonial, you should get yourself a Day of Coordinator (DOC). Go on. Do it now.
REASONS (EXCUSES?) WHY WEDDINGS DON'T HAVE DOCs:
1. The couple is on a tight budget and is trying to save money (think - the less money we spend on the wedding, the more money we can throw toward our cruise to Aruba):
Hey, I get it! I'm a spendthrift. I prefer shopping clearance racks or buying used as opposed to buying new. And I have a pretty good idea how much money goes into paying for a wedding. You potentially have lodging, travel, food, cake, dress, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup, alcohol, decor, flowers, tables, chairs, venue, photographers, videographers, car rental, gifts for the bridal party and parents...THE HONEYMOON...the list goes on and on. It adds up, even if you're trying to be thrifty. But take a look at the list I just gave you. That's a pretty basic list. That's also quite a lot of variables and something can go wrong with any one of those variables. It's the DOC's job to manage these variables to ensure the day flows smoothly. Imagine the peace of mind it would give you to know that all you need to do is get dressed, walk down an aisle, marry the love of your life, then party like it's hot. That's it. Your DOC makes sure guests know when and where to sit, who is escorting whom down the aisle, where guests go while the couple/family/bridal party has portraits taken, etc. They make sure everyone adheres to the timeline of events and best of all, they hopefully know who most, if not all, of the guests are, so they can coordinate people for pictures. I've photographed too many weddings where the bride had no DOC and was stuck yelling (literally) for people to come forward for pictures. An enjoyable time was not had by all. You don't have to spend a lot of money for a DOC. Volundraft your sister. Ask your best friend from college. Yes, it can be your maid/matron of honor.
2. The couple thinks the wedding is too small for a DOC.
Having a coordinator sounds intimidating. The wedding venue I work for is a small one, with a max guest count of 120. Many couples have far fewer than the max guest count. To them, I'm sure a wedding seems manageable without a DOC. Until THE BIG DAY. That's when the cake arrives late, the caterer gets lost, Mom is late to the venue, a dress strap breaks and has to be repaired, Grandma June is feeling frail in the late summer heat, the groom's recently divorced parents brought their new flames and are causing major drama all the way around, your sister's supposed to be helping with decor but her 6-week-old baby is being colicky and has to be nursed every hour...SO. MANY. THINGS. CAN. GO. CRAZY. All of this stuff can be handled by the DOC, leaving you free to enjoy a mimosa while your makeup artist does her magic, or while you enjoy a pre-ceremony beer with your buds. Repeat after me, "No wedding is too small for a coordinator." A coordinator is a Details Director, a Planner Pilot, a Mess Manager...you get the idea.
3. No one wants to lose control.
A lot of brides do not want to relinquish control of the wedding. A lot of planning goes into the event and as a bride, you are intimately involved with said planning and details, much of which started months, even a year ago. There is an intense desire for everything to go perfectly on the the big day. The problem is, without a DOC, you are going to be so worn out from trying to manage the chaos that you are not going to be able to enjoy one of the biggest (and happiest) days of your life. The good news is, if your DOC is someone close, like a family member or best friend, he/she should be familiar with your vision. After all, you picked him/her for a reason! Run through potential chaotic scenarios with your DOC and brainstorm backup plans. Backup Plan A, B, C, etc. Then on the big day, take a deep breath, step back, and allow someone else to run with the details that you so lovingly arranged, so that you can enjoy the fruit of your labor. Trust me, you deserve it.
A wedding can be a big, scary undertaking. Lately I've noticed a surge of independence among couples who want to accomplish things on their own, with their own resources. This is understandable. I did the same thing when I got married. In fact, confession time! I had NO coordinator for my wedding. I never even heard of a coordinator until I started photographing weddings! From personal experience I've now learned that coordinators can be affordable. They have a place at any size wedding. And utilizing a coordinator actually allows a couple more time to focus on what matters most at a wedding...each other.